So I started writing this before we went to California, and am just now finishing it. Disneyland will be up in a day or so! :)
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Today I was helping fill out Jason's Disability report forms for Social Security. One of the first boxes asks us to list Jason's medical conditions that limit his ability to work. I put the obvious first:
- malnutrition due to malabsorption
- chronic fatigue,
- acquired brain injury (medulloblastoma survivor).
- sensorineural hearing loss due to ototoxic chemotherapy
Then I put down one that made me pause for a second:
Just looking at Jason you can see that he isn't healthy. It doesn't take a detective to understand there is something wrong with him physically (er, I thought, but after some of our doctor's appointments I'm not so sure anymore). But Jason also battles another ailment, one that isn't so easily seen but is just as tough an adversary as all the others. Jason was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder a couple of years ago and also suffers from depression and anxiety. This all stems from his illness and all of the traumatic things he went through. This post is not meant to invoke pathos; I actually wanted to take this opportunity to share a little bit about how this illness has affected our family and what you can do if you or someone you love is affected by it.
What is depression?
For all of our progress and understanding of medicine and science we are still oddly uneasy when it comes to the topic of depression. We talk openly of most other illnesses. But when mental illnesses are brought up, voices tend to drop and feet begin to shift uncomfortably. I haven't been able to figure out the reason for this, but I think part of it comes from a lack of understanding of what depression is and where it comes from.
First, depression, and other mental illnesses, are just that. They are illnesses. Chemically there is something that is happening in your brain causing you to feel depressed. Depression can be caused by a lot of things. ANYONE can become depressed, although it is true that genetically speaking some people are more susceptible than others. Causes of depression can include:
- a major illness or death in the family
- a major life event, i.e. the birth of a child, moving, losing a job
- abuse
- substance abuse
- certain medications
- other life circumstances and events
**All of this can be also said for anxiety disorders and other mental illnesses.
Depression is also more than just a bad mood after rush hour traffic. It's feeling your self-worth slip away, and feeling like there's nothing you can do about it. It's feeling tired and frustrated all the time, but you don't understand why. It's more than just sitting around weepy-eyed all the time. It's the lack of desire or energy to do the things you used to love to do.
Depression can also go hand in hand with anxiety disorders. This type of anxiety too is more than just worrying about finals. This anxiety is a fixation on something and not being able to push it out of your mind. If you picture 5000 browser tabs open all at once, and all stuck on the loading page, that's a little what this type of anxiety is like. You worry yourself in circles, never getting anywhere or solving anything. You're just stuck in a state of fear and nervousness.
Before I go any further, I want to say that both of these conditions are NOT a reflection of the person suffering from them. Your brain, just like any other organ in your body, is susceptible to illness. If the chemicals and receptors up there aren't working right, you'll get sick. What happens if your stomach produces too much acid? You get an ulcer. What if your immune system destroys beta cells in your pancreas? You get type 1 diabetes. What if your serotonin levels get out of balance? You may become depressed.
So you see, it's a combination of stressful life events and biological timing (that you have no control over) that causes depression and/or anxiety.
Wow, that sucks
Well, yes it does. So what do you do if you start feeling this way? Or how can you help a brother, sister, parent or child when you see them showing signs of depression? I should add that depression doesn't look the same in everyone. Some people may seem sad and tired (more than normal) or some may seem angry and irrationally irritable (you'll know this when you see it).
BUT THERE IS HOPE!
Your doctor, the one you see for sinus infections and the flu, can treat you for depression. It's an illness remember? If you start experiencing long periods of sadness, frustration, anxiety or just a mood you can't pull yourself out of and it's affecting your day to day life the first thing you can do is make an appointment to see your doctor. Doctor's can prescribe medication and refer you to trained specialists (psychologists usually) that can help you recover from and manage your illness.
The easiest way to treat depression is to prevent it. Some things you can't prevent; moves will happen, jobs will change and people come and go. But you can eat healthy and exercise. You can make time for the things you enjoy, whether it's hiking in the mountains, catching a movie, or just sitting at home with your family and dog. It's ok to slow down every now and then and just take care of you.
Be aware of the signs and symptoms of depression, they aren't always obvious. While there's the obvious feeling sad or empty, you may also have fits of frustration over the smallest things. You might feel anxious and worried, or withdraw from things you used to love to do because you are "just tired". You might also have trouble concentrating. Physically you may hurt as well. Body aches and pains aren't uncommon with depression. You may also sleep a lot more or a lot less than you usually do. You may gain or lose weight rapidly. And above all else, if you start having thoughts of suicide or hopelessness PLEASE seek help. Please know that suicide doesn't stop things from getting worse, it stops them from ever getting better.
Watch for these signs in your friends and family as well. There is something known as "caregiver burnout" that those caring for sick or elderly family members may experience. Help when you can, and listen when you can't. You don't have to have a basket of pamphlets on hand or take it upon yourself to make drs. appointments for people. Sometimes the best help is a quiet mouth, listening ears and a warm hug.
Don't be afraid to say "hey, are you ok?" You never know who may need your help but doesn't know how to ask for it.
Don't be afraid to talk about Depression and Anxiety
I hope in the next few years or so that it's easier to talk about depression and mental illnesses. This was an oddly difficult post to write. Depression isolates, and that's part of why it is so devastating. It carries an ugly, and inaccurate, stigma. Depression is not a weakness, it's an illness and should be treated like such, with all the love and compassion you would give someone diagnosed with any other illness.
In this last October LDS General Conference, Elder Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve gave a wonderful talk addressing depression. It's the first one I've ever heard that directly addresses this issue. Whether you are LDS or not, it's an inspiring and hopeful read:
Like a Broken Vessel
The whole talk is wonderful, but these sections stood out to me:
In preventing illness whenever possible, watch for the stress indicators in yourself and in others you may be able to help. As with your automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank low on fuel. When you face “depletion depression,” make the requisite adjustments. Fatigue is the common enemy of us all—so slow down, rest up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take time to be well, we most assuredly will take time later on to be ill.
If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation.
If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait. 6 Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education.
For caregivers, in your devoted effort to assist with another’s health, do not destroy your own. In all these things be wise. Do not run faster than you have strength. 7 Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.” 8 “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; … [it] beareth all things, … hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.” 9Also let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for.....
.....I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! With the Apostle Paul, I testify that that which was sown in corruption will one day be raised in incorruption and that which was sown in weakness will ultimately be raised in power. 11I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.”....
I hope this has helped someone, somewhere, understand depression a little bit better. I know that depression is only an illness because when I look at my brother I don't see someone weak, or lazy, or pessimistic. I see a fighter who has overcome so much and still hasn't given up. I also hope this will help someone out there struggling with depression to know they are not alone, and that they are amazing and so loved. NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!
Top of the Muffin to yah!
-LeAnne
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