Super Soldier: Disneyland Part 2

Hi!

I started this one a while ago too and am just now finishing.  Thanks for your patience!

Disneyland part 2.....

Jason LOVED the rollar coasters at Disneyland.  One of his favorites was Big Thunder Mountain.  Since we rode this so many times, I got a good look at some of the names of the trains:

I. M. Brave

I.M. Fearless

U. B. Courageous

It seemed really appropriate that this was Jason's favorite ride, since he is all of those things :)

We also stopped at a pretty sweet 'gas station':

This is "Oswald's".  The slogan is "Service with a Smile".

Oswald is (aside from Mickey Mouse of course) my favorite Disney character.  Oswald was Walt's first creation.  Walt only had Oswald for a few years.  When he and Ub Iwerks were pushed out of Universal, they lost their entire animating staff and Oswald.  Walt was devastated.  

It would be almost 80 years before Oswald the Lucky Rabbit was reclaimed by the Disney family in 2006.  In the meantime, you could say Disney did ok for himself.   

This legacy of perseverance shows in all of Disney's films, cartoons and most of their characters.  Disney characters aren't without flaws.  Mickey Mouse is clumsy and frequently gets into trouble through nobody's fault but his own.  Oswald is much the same and has a bit of a grumpy streak.  And neither of them are really that lucky.  But they always keep trying.  

They are heros:

A little Goofy:

And they do scary things:

    *The tower of terror, not for wimps

Sounds a little familiar eh?

People have asked both Jason and my parents how they keep going, what's the secret?  They always respond: how could we not?  Sometimes you hunker down and rest for a minute, but you never give up.

Time will pass no matter what, but ultimately we are the ones in control of how that time passes.  It's up to us to decide how we treat others and where our lives are going to go.  We can't always control what life throws at us, but we can control how we respond.

"It's kind of fun to do the impossible" -Walt Disney

I was really impressed during out trip at how kind everyone was to Jason.  We used his wheelchair the whole trip because Jason was still really weak at that point.  The staff at Disneyland never missed a beat, and Jason was able to enjoy the trip just as much as he would have if he'd never gotten sick.  We had help wherever we went.  We really were surrounded by "service with a smile".

I suppose that's what I appreciated the most about our trip.  No one treated Jason like he was in a wheelchair and on a feeding tube.  He was just another person on vacation.  How beautiful a world it would be if we could all see past each other's outside appearances.  How much kinder would we be to each other if we could really see the struggles we are all facing?  If we could all remember that everyone is someone's son or daughter, father or mother, sister or brother.

On the outside, we may be small like a mouse or unlucky like a rabbit.  People might only see our scars and weaknesses.  But on the inside we all look a little more like this:

    Jason Franke, super soldier :)

If there's one thing I hope everyone reading this blog can take away from Jason's Journey, it's to never give up.  You are worth it!  You are not your trials and weaknesses.  You are writing your own story; you can't control all the plot twists but you do get to control how you respond to them!  We were made to act, not to be acted upon.

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Jason's health is still improving, he is finally healthy enough to be getting back in the saddle this Saturday!  I'll post pictures after his lesson.

This is your before pic, watch for the after :)

Top of the muffin to yah!

-LeAnne

Let's Go Fly a Kite (Disneyland part 1)

DISNEYLAND!!!!

We LOVE Disney.  We are proud Mousketeers, Disney Nerds, and collectors and appreciators of all things Disney.  We always have been.  Disney represents to us all the good things in the world, and what can happen with faith, trust and a little pixie dust.

As true Disney nerds we had to see "Saving Mr. Banks" when it came out.  It is a wonderful movie, especially if you love Disney!  It's the story behind Mary Poppins, and it really hit home for me.  At one point Walt tells P.L. Travers (the author of the Mary Poppins books):

"George Banks, and all he stands for will be saved. Maybe not in life, but in imagination. Because that's what we storytellers do. We restore order with imagination. We instill hope again and again and again."

I'm a very amateur writer, but I understood what he meant.  And not just because I write, but because I read, and I've felt what he's talking about watching "Frozen" next to Jason's hospital bed, or watching my younger siblings watch "Steamboat Willie" or "The Lion King" or "Toy Story", or wander around Disneyland for the first time.  It sort of reminds me of a song:

Let's go fly a kite

Up to the highest heights

Let's go fly a kite

And send it soaring 

Up to the atmosphere

Up where the air is clear 

Oh let's go fly a kite 

On our way back from Disneyland we watched a documentary about Ub Iwerks, the man who actually drew Mickey Mouse (Walt came up with the idea and stories but Ub did the actual animating).  It was put together by Ub's daughter, Leslie.  If you need inspiration in your life, I highly recommend checking it out.

Once upon a time, Walt Disney and Ub Iwerks were on their last limb.  Their ENTIRE studio staff was leaving them for better salaries offered by Universal Studios (their distributor at the time).  Universal Exec Charles Mintz* was pushing them out.  As a final blow he had stolen Ub and Walt's first and prized creation, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit**.  The world they had worked so hard to build was crumbling all around them.  

*fun fact: the villain on 'Up', Charles Muntz, was based on Charles Mintz

**don't worry, there's more coming about him! (He's LeAnne's favorite)

But Walt and Ub weren't the kind to give up.  Amidst the chaos of a darkening business they were secretly creating a new character.  His name was Mickey Mouse.

This was the start of Disney as we know it.  It had five founding members.  Walt and Ub were the animators, writers, and producers.  Their wives, Lillian and Mildred respectively, were the inkers.  And Walt's brother Roy helped with business matters.  Together they would create the world's first "talkie" cartoon, one of the most iconic films of all time, Steamboat Willie.

From there, Mickey Mouse would go on to become one of the most inspiring, and recognizable, film characters of all time.  

Starting with his earliest cartoon, Mickey had character.  He has never been perfect, and he isn't always right.   He makes messes, and then makes more messes trying to bring brooms to life to fix his original messes.  He doesn't have the best of luck, in fact his luck sometimes stinks.  But he is always kind to those around him, and he never stops trying.  And in the end, he chooses to be happy and to enjoy his life and to love the people in it. 

Mickey Mouse's story is one of never giving up.  He is the embodiment of perseverance and hope.  He came out of hard times, times of loss and change.  But he came out smiling and ready to tackle the world.  That's why Mom has always loved him.  He's a symbol of hope and joy amidst a confusing - and sometimes just mean - world.

That's why we like this picture so much:

It's important to come together as a family when times are tough.  But sometimes it's more important to slow down and just enjoy the time we have together, and maybe an ice cream sundae too:

Jason and I had two very wise American Studies teachers that taught us, among other things, that "the pants know".  This little beauty is called "The Oswald" by the way :)

Let's go fly a kite :)

Top of the muffin to yah,

-LeAnne

P.S. Part 2 coming soon :)

A Beautiful Mind

So I started writing this before we went to California, and am just now finishing it.  Disneyland will be up in a day or so! :)

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Today I was helping fill out Jason's Disability report forms for Social Security.  One of the first boxes asks us to list Jason's medical conditions that limit his ability to work.  I put the obvious first:

• malnutrition due to malabsorption
• chronic fatigue, 
• acquired brain injury (medulloblastoma survivor).  
• sensorineural hearing loss due to ototoxic chemotherapy

Then I put down one that made me pause for a second:

• Depression/anxiety

Just looking at Jason you can see that he isn't healthy.  It doesn't take a detective to understand there is something wrong with him physically (er, I thought, but after some of our doctor's appointments I'm not so sure anymore).  But Jason also battles another ailment, one that isn't so easily seen but is just as tough an adversary as all the others.  Jason was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder a couple of years ago and also suffers from depression and anxiety.  This all stems from his illness and all of the traumatic things he went through.  This post is not meant to invoke pathos; I actually wanted to take this opportunity to share a little bit about how this illness has affected our family and what you can do if you or someone you love is affected by it.

 What is depression?

For all of our progress and understanding of medicine and science we are still oddly uneasy when it comes to the topic of depression.  We talk openly of most other illnesses.  But when mental illnesses are brought up, voices tend to drop and feet begin to shift uncomfortably.  I haven't been able to figure out the reason for this, but I think part of it comes from a lack of understanding of what depression is and where it comes from.

First, depression, and other mental illnesses, are just that.  They are illnesses.  Chemically there is something that is happening in your brain causing you to feel depressed.  Depression can be caused by a lot of things.  ANYONE can become depressed, although it is true that genetically speaking some people are more susceptible than others.  Causes of depression can include:

• a major illness or death in the family
• a major life event, i.e. the birth of a child, moving, losing a job
• abuse
• substance abuse
• certain medications
• other life circumstances and events

**All of this can be also said for anxiety disorders and other mental illnesses.

Depression is also more than just a bad mood after rush hour traffic.  It's feeling your self-worth slip away, and feeling like there's nothing you can do about it.  It's feeling tired and frustrated all the time, but you don't understand why.  It's more than just sitting around weepy-eyed all the time.  It's the lack of desire or energy to do the things you used to love to do.  

Depression can also go hand in hand with anxiety disorders.  This type of anxiety too is more than just worrying about finals.  This anxiety is a fixation on something and not being able to push it out of your mind.  If you picture 5000 browser tabs open all at once, and all stuck on the loading page, that's a little what this type of anxiety is like.  You worry yourself in circles, never getting anywhere or solving anything.  You're just stuck in a state of fear and nervousness.  

Before I go any further, I want to say that both of these conditions are NOT a reflection of the person suffering from them.  Your brain, just like any other organ in your body, is susceptible to illness.  If the chemicals and receptors up there aren't working right, you'll get sick.  What happens if your stomach produces too much acid?  You get an ulcer.  What if your immune system destroys beta cells in your pancreas?  You get type 1 diabetes.  What if your serotonin levels get out of balance?  You may become depressed.

So you see, it's a combination of stressful life events and biological timing (that you have no control over) that causes depression and/or anxiety.

Wow, that sucks

Well, yes it does.  So what do you do if you start feeling this way?  Or how can you help a brother, sister, parent or child when you see them showing signs of depression?  I should add that depression doesn't look the same in everyone.  Some people may seem sad and tired (more than normal) or some may seem angry and irrationally irritable (you'll know this when you see it).  

BUT THERE IS HOPE!

Your doctor, the one you see for sinus infections and the flu, can treat you for depression.  It's an illness remember?  If you start experiencing long periods of sadness, frustration, anxiety or just a mood you can't pull yourself out of and it's affecting your day to day life the first thing you can do is make an appointment to see your doctor.  Doctor's can prescribe medication and refer you to trained specialists (psychologists usually) that can help you recover from and manage your illness.

The easiest way to treat depression is to prevent it.  Some things you can't prevent; moves will happen, jobs will change and people come and go.  But you can eat healthy and exercise.  You can make time for the things you enjoy, whether it's hiking in the mountains, catching a movie, or just sitting at home with your family and dog.  It's ok to slow down every now and then and just take care of you.

Be aware of the signs and symptoms of depression, they aren't always obvious.  While there's the obvious feeling sad or empty, you may also have fits of frustration over the smallest things.  You might feel anxious and worried, or withdraw from things you used to love to do because you are "just tired".  You might also have trouble concentrating.  Physically you may hurt as well.  Body aches and pains aren't uncommon with depression.  You may also sleep a lot more or a lot less than you usually do.  You may gain or lose weight rapidly.  And above all else, if you start having thoughts of suicide or hopelessness PLEASE seek help.  Please know that suicide doesn't stop things from getting worse, it stops them from ever getting better.

Watch for these signs in your friends and family as well.  There is something known as "caregiver burnout" that those caring for sick or elderly family members may experience.  Help when you can, and listen when you can't.  You don't have to have a basket of pamphlets on hand or take it upon yourself to make drs. appointments for people.  Sometimes the best help is a quiet mouth, listening ears and a warm hug.

Don't be afraid to say "hey, are you ok?"  You never know who may need your help but doesn't know how to ask for it.

Don't be afraid to talk about Depression and Anxiety

I hope in the next few years or so that it's easier to talk about depression and mental illnesses.  This was an oddly difficult post to write.  Depression isolates, and that's part of why it is so devastating.  It carries an ugly, and inaccurate, stigma.  Depression is not a weakness, it's an illness and should be treated like such, with all the love and compassion you would give someone diagnosed with any other illness.

In this last October LDS General Conference, Elder Holland of the Quorum of the Twelve gave a wonderful talk addressing depression.  It's the first one I've ever heard that directly addresses this issue.  Whether you are LDS or not, it's an inspiring and hopeful read:

Like a Broken Vessel

The whole talk is wonderful, but these sections stood out to me:

In preventing illness whenever possible, watch for the stress indicators in yourself and in others you may be able to help. As with your automobile, be alert to rising temperatures, excessive speed, or a tank low on fuel. When you face “depletion depression,” make the requisite adjustments. Fatigue is the common enemy of us all—so slow down, rest up, replenish, and refill. Physicians promise us that if we do not take time to be well, we most assuredly will take time later on to be ill. 

If things continue to be debilitating, seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all of the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation. 

If you are the one afflicted or a caregiver to such, try not to be overwhelmed with the size of your task. Don’t assume you can fix everything, but fix what you can. If those are only small victories, be grateful for them and be patient. Dozens of times in the scriptures, the Lord commands someone to “stand still” or “be still”—and wait. ⁶ Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education. 

For caregivers, in your devoted effort to assist with another’s health, do not destroy your own. In all these things be wise. Do not run faster than you have strength. ⁷ Whatever else you may or may not be able to provide, you can offer your prayers and you can give “love unfeigned.” ⁸ “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; … [it] beareth all things, … hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.” ⁹Also let us remember that through any illness or difficult challenge, there is still much in life to be hopeful about and grateful for.....

.....I testify of the holy Resurrection, that unspeakable cornerstone gift in the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ! With the Apostle Paul, I testify that that which was sown in corruption will one day be raised in incorruption and that which was sown in weakness will ultimately be raised in power. ¹¹I bear witness of that day when loved ones whom we knew to have disabilities in mortality will stand before us glorified and grand, breathtakingly perfect in body and mind. What a thrilling moment that will be! I do not know whether we will be happier for ourselves that we have witnessed such a miracle or happier for them that they are fully perfect and finally “free at last.”....

I hope this has helped someone, somewhere, understand depression a little bit better.  I know that depression is only an illness because when I look at my brother I don't see someone weak, or lazy, or pessimistic.  I see a fighter who has overcome so much and still hasn't given up.  I also hope this will help someone out there struggling with depression to know they are not alone, and that they are amazing and so loved.  NEVER EVER GIVE UP!!!

Top of the Muffin to yah!

-LeAnne

Something about a horse... and a baby bunny...

"There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the inside of a man"

Sorry about the closed eyes.
The photographer was also the horses handler and couldn't see into the sun.  

 Today Jason got to go spend time with Sam!  (If you don't remember Sam, see the post Trotting In Place)

We are starting off slow, and today was just a day for Jason to reconnect with Sam and see where he is at.  First we worked Sam in the round pen to warm him up.  Then we brought him into the arena where Jason groomed him and said hey to his old friend:

It was a little windy so Jas started with his hood up.
Lots of wind+hearing aids=ANNOYING!

For those of you who have never groomed a horse, it is extremely therapeutic!

Then the fun started!  You may remember that Jason was riding in an english saddle prior to his most recent health scare.  Today, he went bareback.  We stayed at a walk, with LeAnne leading Sam and Jason just focusing on his balance and enjoying the ride:

"The wind of Heaven is that which blows through the horse's ears"
~Arabian Proverb

Bareback riding is extremely challenging but also one of the most rewarding ways to ride a horse.  You have no stirrups to support you, only the muscular, powerful back of your horse.  You really learn to just move in harmony with the horse.  It requires a great deal of balance, muscle, trust and courage!  This is one reason why a lot of therapeutic riding centers start their clients on bareback pads before transitioning to a saddle.  It is a great foundation, and a great exercise for any level rider!

It's also just a ton of fun:

 "Horses carry the wisdom of healing in their hearts and offer it to any humans that possess the humility to listen"

"Horses: Life's apology for every crappy day ever"

Jason has a very sweet spirit and is very humble.  This helps him work remarkably well with Sam.  Jason is also courageous and always ready to try new things; his work ethic amazes everyone he meets!  Jason's balance was great today, and he still had plenty of energy after his ride.  This was especially impressive considering he'd already had a workout at the gym today!  He will do great continuing to ride Sam.  From here we pick up where we left off (using a saddle and bridle) and keep him moving our favorite direction...forward!  Go Jas!




Also, you should meet Roger:

Yup.  This is our new bunny!  Roger is a such a sweet special boy, I think I see a future therapy rabbit here!  

Make sure and hug your pets today, they are with us for so short a time but can teach us so much :)

Top of the Muffin to Yah!

-LeAnne

Peace, Be Still

Well hi!

First the sad news: as most of you heard we had to put our beloved beagle, Darwin, to sleep.  He held on as long as he could but on April First (lousy holiday anyway) he returned to our Heavenly Father:

Truest of the True Aggies

We are happy to announce that we will soon be adopting another beagle puppy (or two?) but until then we miss our boy.  We adopted him right after Jason finished his chemo treatments.  He literally brought a new, happy spirit into our home with his wagging tail and joyous, unassuming brown eyes.  He was there on sick days, on happy days, summertime and Christmastime.  He braved first driving experiences (and I mean braved them) and gladly went for long runs or walks after stressful days.  Our broom almost lost its job thanks to his quick tongue and reflexes when it came to anything edible and the kitchen floor.  No piece of furniture wasn't refurbished at some point with a fresh coat of dog hair, and no outfit was complete without it.  Our Daisy misses him terribly, and we are so excited to bring home more wet noses for her, and us, to love and adore.

Now for the good news.  Jason weighs 97 pounds!!!  In case that didn't catch your attention that's 97 POUNDS!!!!!!  AHHHHHH!!!

We are very excited about this.

like a boss

There are a couple of reasons for this.  The first is the NG tube but the second is this little bottle of magic pills:

These little beauties are the greatest thing to come along since vitameatavegamin.  These are pancreatic enzymes.  Your pancreas is, among other things, in charge of producing enzymes that help break down your food.  In people with any kind of pulmonary fibrosis (like Jason) the scarring and excess tissue and mucous in your lungs messes with your pancreas and digestive enzymes.  Basically, your pancreas doesn't produce enough digestive enzymes and this causes problems with nutrition absorption.  These pills are those missing enzymes.  Jason takes one before he eats anything and this helps his body break down and absorb food.  

We've been informed by doctors, several times, that we may never have a definitive cause for Jason's gastrointestinal troubles.  For all you pre-med students out there, this is towards the top of the list of things your patients don't want to hear, just FYI.  We still pushing forward regardless.  Jason has a colonoscopy scheduled for the end of this month and we are hoping for more answers.  In the meantime however, we are so happy that he has gained so much weight!  He is finally getting back to doing the things he loves.  He still tires really easily and has a long way to go in rebuilding muscle mass and stamina, but he is such a trooper and we are SO grateful for all the progress he has made!

Jas put together a bookshelf for his younger
brother, Matthew

Jason picks up music really well, we are so
happy to hear him tickling the ivory again!

 Jason also visited with Mom's family in northern California over spring break.  Can you tell we like the Giants?

The grandparents that are cooler than yours

Spring is such a beautiful time of year.  It's warmth and overwhelming sense of hope are a welcome blessing.  Have a beautiful Easter Sunday everyone. 

He is risen, and He lives today that we also may live through Him
(painting by Greg Olsen)

Top of the Muffin to Yah,

-LeAnne

Pictures!

Hi everyone!

Here are those pictures I promised forever ago, thank you again to all who came and supported Jason and spent the evening with him!

The Manila YSA ward is basically the best ever!

Top of the Muffin to yah!

-LeAnne

More than just a Cancer Survivor

Hi,

This post is about Jason.  Not about his illness, doctor's visits, or anything else cancer related.  Just Jason.  It's easy for the illness to take over, to become all that's discussed and the center of worries.  But there's a person behind that.  And he's pretty awesome.  JJs illness is a part of his life, there is so much more to him than that.  This post really only scratches the surface but it seemed important that you know the boy behind everything.

Jason is twenty years old and was born on July 29, 1993.  He is the second oldest in a family of five, and the oldest boy:

The Peeps

Jason also loves animals; they've been a part of his life for a long time:

Then....

Now

His favorite animals are birds, especially cockatiels like his bird Piper:

such a pretty bird

Jason works at the Megaplex movie theater at Thanksgiving Point in Lehi, UT.  He cooks and sells delicious movie theater goodness and helps take tickets.  The Franke siblings frequent the movie theater.  Jason's top five movies are:

• Frozen
• Knight and Day
• The Avengers
• The Lone Ranger
• Finding Nemo

Jason's house of choice at Hogwarts

Jason also basically rocks at video games; right now he and his brothers are working on conquering the new "Disney Infinity" game.  He also really loves "DC Universe" and "Super Smash Bros".

Jason is a voracious and ridiculously fast reader.  He can get through a large book like Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (which he's read multiple times) in about a day.  His favorite book series are Harry Potter, Heros of Olympus, Percy Jackson and lots of other books too!

Jason is an eagle scout.  His project was to make blankets for kids at Primary Children's Hospital (a place he knows too well).  He's also been attending Utah Valley University.  Jason has been working on his general education classes and also taking a few classes in drafting, architecture and engineering.  He loves working with the AutoCad software program and loves to design and build things.  

And for reals, Jason really does like to eat!  Some of his favorite foods are pepperoni pizza, cheeseburgers, chocolate milkshakes, pretzel bites (from the pretzel maker in the mall, it's his favorite store there ;)), cheese (cheddar), cookies (especially sugar cookies!).

Jason says that if he could go anywhere in the world, it would be Greece.  He loves Greek mythology and just thinks it would be really cool to go there!

This is just a little bit about Jason; this blog talks a lot about what's going on with Jason's trials and sickness.  But it seemed like it was time for a post just about Jason.  Jason has never let his cancer define him.  He's so much more than a brain tumor survivor.  It's easy for a cancer survivor to get lost in that label, but Jason hasn't!  He's so much more and so so loved!  Thank you for keeping him in your prayers, and supporting him it really does mean the world to all of us at the Franke house.

Top of the Muffin to yah,

LeAnne :)